The King with the Cold Heart - a book for children with a toxic parent (recommended for ages 5+)
Confirm your gut feeling and find words for your emotions.
What the readers say
„This book opens doors to talk to children about narcissistic family dynamics - inspiring, empathetic and heart-warming.“
„For the first time, a book addresses the topic of narcissism in a child-friendly way.“
„The topic of narcissism is presented in this book with clear words and evocative images in a very emotional yet light-hearted way. Be brave and follow your gut feeling, don’t ignore it when it shows you the way.“
„Friederike Sternberg succeeds in using simple and child-friendly language to illustrate key aspects of narcissistic behavior, such as unreliability, not keeping promises, loudmouths (“I’m the best cook around”), tantrums, aggressive attempts to justify oneself and so on. The form of the fairy tale fits well with the aim of talking to children about narcissism and the fact that it is not their fault if a narcissistic caregiver hurts them or ignores them. The beautiful illustrations by Francesca Cudignotto do their bit to turn this unwieldy topic into a book to look at and read aloud.“
Narcissism explained
in a child-friendly way
Children can sense very clearly when something is wrong.
This book helps them take their own feelings seriously and understand them,
because confusion doesn’t just happen out of the blue.
“The King with the Cold Heart” is a sensitive children’s book for kids who sense:
Something is wrong, even if no one says it out loud.
It tells of emotional insecurity, of closeness that doesn’t feel warm, and of feelings that are hard to make sense of.
The story helps children better understand conflicting experiences, take their own perceptions seriously, and find words for what is happening inside them.
The story centers on Flo. He senses that something is wrong and begins to understand that it’s not his fault.
Children can relate to Flo and realize that their feelings are valid.
The book makes a complex topic accessible to children. It explores how to deal with adults who are deeply preoccupied with themselves and do not adequately recognize children’s needs. In psychological terminology, this behavior is often described as narcissism. In the book itself, it remains a story that children can understand without feeling overwhelmed.
For parents and caregivers, The King with the Cold Heart offers a gentle way to start a conversation with children—about experiences that often go unspoken. It helps children make sense of their feelings without assigning blame.
The book is supplemented by additional guidance for adults and a foreword by child psychologist Jan Steinitz (Berlin).
A book that sets things in motion.
Sometimes all it takes is a story for a child to reconnect with themselves.
„Children are told a story to put them to sleep. Adults to wake them up.“
„This book addresses the topic of narcissism in a child-friendly way and can help affected children to validate their gut feelings and find words for their emotions.
It can help parents and therapists to talk to children about it.“
„The topic of narcissism packed into a story in a child-friendly and understandable way.
An important and well-done children’s book to introduce affected children to this difficult topic and also to show them solutions.“
Why This Book Matters
Some children grow up with something that’s hard to
put into words:
Closeness that doesn’t feel like closeness
Words that confuse more than they help
And eventually, they start to think:
There’s something wrong with me.
This book tells a story that gently suggests:
Maybe something else is wrong.
What this book offers children
Guidance in emotionally confusing situations
Finding words for feelings that previously had no name
Relief from feelings of guilt
Boosting self-esteem
A gentle introduction to difficult conversations
Who is “The King with the Cold Heart” for?
This book is particularly suitable for:
Children ages 6 and up
Sensitive children who are highly perceptive
Children in stressful family situations
Parents, educators, therapists, and lawyers
In a nutshell: What is the book about?
Flo lives with his family in a village ruled by a power-hungry king. He tries to improve the situation for himself, his little brother, and his mother. When he fails, they make a courageous decision.
What do children learn from this?
Their perceptions are genuine, true, and matter. Children learn that everything is okay with them and that the problem lies elsewhere.
Is the book therapeutic?
No, but it can be supportive and facilitate conversations.
About the author
Friederike Sternberg
After studying business communication, she specialized in personnel and leadership development as well as supporting companies in change processes. Her many years of experience in coaching and working with leaders have given her insights into the often subtle effects of narcissism, both on an individual level and on teams and organizations.
Her experience spans over 20 years of working in these areas.
These insights and her experiences as a mother inspired her to prepare the topic for a new target group: Children.
About the illustrator
Francesca Cudignotto
Francesca Cudignotto (born 1990) is a freelance illustrator from Vicenza, Italy.
In 2012 she graduated in Fine Arts and in 2014 in Business and Management of the Arts and now... she draws all day long! She especially likes rough textures and irregular lines and does her best to preserve these features in her drawings, even if she works completely digitally.
If you like her work, you can contact her directly or check out her portfolio.